When a Hot List cools off and moves out of town

I wrote several days ago how several moving-related companies mailed to me after I already left town, but I did not expect this to arrive from Thomas United Transfer and Storage.

Their solo mail package deserves Fails for List and Timing. Not only did Thomas Transfer mail the moving offer several weeks late, they mailed it to my new address.

Setting that aside, this is not a bad creative package but could use some tweaks. The outer envelope includes a teaser that is relevant to the consumer – practically everyone who moves needs boxes, so why not get some free. After all, “free” is the most beautiful four-letter word in the English language. The package leads with a friendly cover letter that communicates positive features of the company. Meanwhile, the flyer is more promotional and describes the free box offers.

Some ways creative treatment could be improved in the letter:

• Be consistent with the grammar. Some of the cover letter is written in the first person plural, while the close states, “Please call me …” even though two people signed the letter.
• Actually include a hand signature of Dawn and Christina. Represent who those people are – the owners? Salespeople? Moving coordinators?
• Consider more benefit statements, i.e. low-stress, piece of mind. 

At least Thomas Transfer and Storage only wasted marketing money. I wish they had reached out to me earlier so I would not have ended up with Texas Home Movers damaging and losing my goods.

Learnings: Use a hot list quickly before it cools off.  Don't address-correct a solicitation for moving supplies.  If the person moved, don't mail.